Rediscovery

I have not posted to this blog in nearly two years. A lot has happened. Most of it good, lots of it bad, but one thing remains the same: my obsession with my weight. I have just finished reading through all of my posts from 2010, the year I put myself through Hell, and there was a lot of my past journey that I didn't remember. Like seeing 113 pounds on the scale. I can hardly believe I was that small and so close to my goal... Goes to show exactly what I am capable of. I did it once, I can do it again. This time I've got more tools in my toolbox. Like a car. And money. And an 18th birthday in two days.

SO much has changed. I'm a model now. Or, at least I do some modeling. Mainly my feet, but I've got my first two nude shoots coming up a couple days after my birthday. I'm almost legal :) I can almost buy cigarettes. Oh, I broke Edge a while ago. I smoke, I drink, I fight, I have sex, I am a crazy woman. I have a lot of fun these days ;) Only thing missing is an extremely tiny body. We will work on this.

I'm a senior in high school now. Currently I'm skipping school, simply because I didn't feel like showing up, or I would weigh myself right now and tell you where I'm at. I'm in the 130's. Gross, right? I mean, I don't look terrible, but 130 is an ugly number. 120 is an ugly number...

Rebuilding a following will be hard, seeing as though most of the girls I used to commune with no longer post. I don't know what the Blogger community looks like these days. I guess it's time to rediscover. Now to figure out how... Stats and all to come soon.

I'M HOME!

I'm home from California! Well, I've been back from California for a while now, but I had to visit my biggot of a father for a couple of days. We stayed in a hotel room in my town and bowled and saw Tron and ate bad food. Yuck. I don't like seeing him. He doesn't believe in birth control, black people, Asian women driving, or women having places in politics. Except for Sarah Palin. Gag me with a spoon.

Regardless, I am back and back in Blogger action. My weight hasn't ballooned, even after vacation. Back to 700 calories daily.
B - 0
L - soup - 230

Perfect.

Hey, baby. Let's just start where we left off...

I'm back, bitches. For good this time. For 98 pounds. I'm back to 121 on a regular basis. Much improvement from before. But we aren't talking about before. Only here. Only now. Because I've been to Hell and back, ladies, and it wasn't pretty. I'm back for good. I'm back for 98. I will be 98. To feel strong. To never be abused again. To be too fragile to handle. To make Him scared. To show Him He made the wrong choice. This is my 24-hour revenge therapy.

Intake:

B - chocolate - 280
L - 3 tootsie rolls - 70
Kettle popcorn (1/2 mini-bag) - 50
Kashi almond-honey bar - 140
A.S. - leftover Chinese - 150
crackers - 190
Total: 880

I'm done for the day. Unless I purge. Or drink some nasty tea (nastea?). I'll have some nastea.

Why haven't I been posting??

It's been a long, long, long, long time, it seems. Good news? I've lost the will to eat all day. And I weigh 121.5 pounds. How miraculous.

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me... I'm 16 now. And I weigh a little less than 124 pounds. I've decided that I'll try to weigh myself every other morning. It just makes sense. I wonder what today is going to be like. After school, my family and I are going to go to dinner and then I'm going to the Harry Potter premier. Wehew! Standing in line for hours is my favorite thing! Well, actually, staying away from a houseful of food is my favorite thing. Any excuse to do so is welcomed.

Soup

At the end of another day. My birthday is tomorrow... I'm about to sit down to a bowl of chicken soup, because all I've had today is sugar-free fruit candies (7.5 each) that gave me a huge headache and 1/3 of a 3 Musketeers (85.7). I need some non-sugared food to ease my stomach. I've also started drinking that laxadive tea again, which gives me an excuse not to eat because it hurts too badly afterwards >.<

Lola has informed me that there is a new blogger out in the blogosphere. Her name is Erika. Erika, if you read this, feel free to use me as a support. I'll do the best I can.

I think I'm officially back on track... I feel like I have all the things I need in place to have an awesome time at playing this game. Soon the weight will start to come off. I can't wait. 110, baby. Then 100. Then 98. I'll be such a boss by then.

Wehew!

I've taken three omeprazole so far today. I think it's making a huge difference! I've come to terms with the fact that I need to take this thing day by day. If I'm going to get back to the way I was and better, I'll need to take little baby steps. Day by day... Day by day... My birthday is in two days.