Wagon! Slow Down So I Can Hop Back On You!

Today's a turning point for me, I swear. Since 4 o'clock yesterday, nothing has passed my lips but herbal laxative tea and lip gloss. (FWI, I haven't been actually ingesting said lip gloss...) I was so hungry last night, since my body was used to my binging at night, but I said, "Bitch, PLEASE!" and went to bed just to make her shut up. It worked! Ca marche! I mean, I did have an orange this morning, but it took me a half hour to eat and I made a big cerimony out of it. I feel full-ish. I'm going to make myself some tea so that I'm not tempted by my own baked goods.
I love to bake. It's my favorite thing to do. It's so tactile, and I can listen to music while I do it, and I can give it all away and make people smile! I make these really great cookies from the Tollhouse cookie recipe, but I make them a special way. I won't say how!!! I swear, though, when my last boyfriend had one for the first time he would rather sleep with the cookies than with me. And he loved sleeping with me. This shit is bomb.

Today, my baking is for a movie marathon I'm going to this afternoon. Are any of you familiar with the BBC television series Robin Hood? Well, we're watching all of Season 2 this evening. I'm going to make a bunch of cookies and cakes and stuff for the girls. The only problem? My family insists that I keep some at home so that they can have some. That'd be fine, if I didn't live with them. I hate having my baking in the house, because I totally want to eat some. Like with this last batch of cookies... I wanted to give them all to my ex because he likes them so much, but my shit-for-brains step father was all like, "PSHH!!! NO FREAKING WAY!!! I like them so much, and your starving ex can't have any!" It was totally not cool.

Derric is starving, by the way. He comes from a seriously low-income family where anytime they have food in the house(which is a rare occaison), his younger and older brothers eat all of it before he can have any. He used to come over just to eat sometimes. Since school's ended, he's lost about 15 pounds due to not having any food. this will sound totally not cool, but a large part of me wishes I were in his situation so that I wasn't able to eat... I wish I were in a house without food. I want to live by myself in a house where the food in the fridge is only for show...

Keep on starving. I'm right there behind you.