Spacecadet's Space

I didn't blog yesterday. No idea why... I'm starting to get good again. The last week or so have been one bad day after another. I need to remember what it's like to have another good day. Today's 500 calories. I'm going to see if my parents will let me go downtown or something to do a little shopping, so I can stay out of the house. It's so much easier when I'm not just here, alone all the time every day. Then I make up excuses for myself to eat... It isn't fair. Tomorrow's another weigh-in. Perhaps I can flush out my body and all the weight I've probably gained since Saturday will come out, too. I refuse to be the fat girl. I also refuse to be the "healthy girl". You know, not really thin but not morbidly obese? That's who I am now. I'm "healthy". I'm a farm-grade girl right now. Good for work. I don't want to be good for work. I want to be fragile and petite. I'll get there. It'll just take one day at a time. I love you all... Don't get down. Everything's going to be okay.