Ultimatum

I binged. Again. It's becoming an awful habit. This month was supposed to be about forming habits, but not THOSE kinds of habits!!! Pizza. And cereal. Two kinds. And toaster waffles. I'm so stupid. The binge is why my day turned so bad. It was fat-karma. I'm so fucking miserable. I'm so angry, I want to reach down my throat and grab the first organ my fat fingers curl around, and forcefully wrench it from use. I want to die. That's the long and short of it. I want to be dead. I want to be dead, and I want everybody who ever knew me to know that it's their fault they didn't consider me enough. I put up with so much! I do everything I can so that they can all live comfortably! So this is what I will do.

Dear Life,

This is an ultimatum. There are several conditions to this ultimatum. The first being I will not stop until one of the following happens: I am so thin that I can't possibly be sad about anything, I die, or life gets generally better. Got it? The second condition is I will not feed my body on my own free-will. The other times will be purely out of the inability to refuse. The last condition is if I die on this fast to death, so be it. It's better than being here, anyway.

Love until skinny,
Maria xx