Messy

Tests, tests, tests. Right out of the hospital I have a ton of tests. And I got sick. They think it might be strep throat, but it also could just be a viral infection, in which case, there's nothing they can give me to make it go away. And I feel like crap, but I have to go to school today. It's not even an option to stay home, because of how much work I have to do. I have a ton of notes to make up in Humanities, and the only person I know in that class (who isn't Joey, because he's an emotional fuckwit) won't give me her notes. So I don't know what I'm going to do! And I've got two tests in that class. Then, in Music Theory I'm so entirely behind it's not even funny. I failed a make-up exam yesterday. I know I did. I didn't answer half the questions. And there's this perfect male specimin in that class who's entirely talented in music, so I really, really want to impress him with being good at music, too, but I'm not as good as he is, and I'm not good in that class. Ugh... Then, in Honor's Comp Lit, I've had to read a third of My Name is Asher Lev (I had to read it instead because Cather in the Rye was too sad) by the end of the week. I told her I was ready for the test today, and I've still got 40 pages to read... Oh, well. I'll get it done. And then, I've got the vocabulary test from Hell that I was supposed to take yesterday, but I went home because of how miserable I was feeling. We have these things called Difinitive Sentences, where we have to write a sentence that defines the vocab word without using the deffinition and no other word can take its place. We have to memorize the deffinitions, and then we have to memorize our sentences. She chooses 3 words at random from the list of 10 and we test over those. I have about, oh, I don't know, 4 SENTENCES DONE!!!! No good. Not good enough.

On a lighter note, I feel like I'm more on track. I'm going to start taking those green tea pills again. My mom threw away the extra omeprazole, so I'll have to buy the generic Prilosec, I guess. that's fine by me. Anything to get skinny. I've been doing my best to squash the appetite increas that the Abilify makes me have, and I'm doing better than I have been. The calories keep dropping, day by day, slowly but surely. Soon I'll be able to fast successfully again. And, last night, I was able to work out for a full 15 minutes, which is more than I've done in a while. I'm going to continue that, and eventually do another 15 minutes in the morning. I wanna be fit! And then some... The thinspo I printed out in in my locker now. It excites me to put away mu lunch, half-eaten, because I see so many girls on the orange metal who do the same thing.

That's all. Things aren't very interesting. I'm just looking forward to October. I want to be Twiggy or Edie Sedgwick for Halloween. You know what, Maria? Both of those require being ultra-skinny. At least a decent size 3. I can do it. I have to do it.