The scale read 125.5 pounds this morning. That's bullshit! I'm working my ass off and it's still not enough! I didn't even hardly eat yesterday. This isn't fair. This isn't right! I need to work harder. Much harder. November will be my chance. It's my birthday month. It's a new start. I will get to wear pretty clothes this month. I will finally be one of those pretty girls. I will wash my face all the time. I will SHOWER, damnit! I will grow out my hair again, because I feel like a boy and I love the scraggly model-hair look. Three years, it'll take to get it there, but I'm willing.
I feel like a big fat failure, but that's okay, because I'll be fine this next month. I'll have one of those glorious before-after stories. So will all of us. I have faith in all of us. Love always, Maria.
I'm sure you know this, but i thought i should remind you that not eating kills your metabolism and makes it nearly impossible for your body to burn unwanted fat cells.
ReplyDeleteEat right and work out within your limit, and the weight will go away :) and you won't feel like shit in the process.
Good luck <3 you're doing beautifully.