FML

Last night was misery. And the worst part is I can't even talk about it anymore... I'm not allowed to. So I'll just say that we had some difficult conversations in regards to a letter in regards to something terrible that happened to me. I felt like killing myself. I tried and tried to think of a way to do it, but I couldn't. I didn't eat dinner. I did however attempt to drown myself if chocolate. I ate a chocolate cupcake from the Cheesecake Factory, and then 1 1/4 of those huge Hershey's chocolate bars. I think it was my first REAL food binge. I was just so miserable... I didn't know what to do. I just ate the entire thing, and I have 1 3/4 in the freezer still.

I guess I picked the worst night to do that, though, because today was supposed to be my empty weigh-in. I weighed myself, anyway, despite the binge, and came to a happy conclusion that even with a stomach full of chocolate I still weigh 115.5, which was my lowest weight ever before my trip. So obviously I can conclude that I lost all of the weight I gained back. I wonder if I actually weigh less? Guess I'll find out Saturday when my next real weigh-in is. Or, I could empty myself out over the rest of today and do a weight tonight. We will see. I hate everything.