Toying

Toying with what serious restriction would look like. I'm going to finish out the month on the plan I set at the beginning, but then I'm going to reduce my calories until I'm eating less than 200 daily. I need to get over this hump. If I get over it and am able to eat more than 200 calories a day, the heavy restriction won't be necessary, but if not... Desperate times call for desperate weight loss.

I CAN'T be over 117... It's just not going to happen! I'm not going to let it! Know why? Because I think I've gained 2 pounds, and those 2 pounds already make me look DISGUSTING!

Tomorrow will be better. This evening will be better. Maria, fill up on water, and drink your tea so you'll be empty for your weigh-in tomorrow. If you're full of food and stuff, you'll cry tomorrow morning when you see you've got a ton of weight that you didn't have on Saturday. You'll be depressed. I love you, Maria, and I want you to love yourself. I want you to do everything you need to do in order to love your body. You're going to be beautiful. Please, just try for your figure's sake. For the sake of your happiness and for the sake of your junior prom. Love yourself and be worthy of the love I have for you.

I'm going to clean, and go for another walk.